At The End of the Rope

Linking with #livefree Thursday

Suzanne Ellers’ gives us a writing prompt each week, this week she writes, ‘We are fixers, aren’t we? And that’s a wonderful trait when used in the right way. When you reach to love someone and it reaches them in that moment, you are part of the healing process. But what do we do when we’ve done everything we can — in a relationship, with a child, in a job, in our own healing process — and it’s not “fixed.” Are we out of hope?

The weeks leading to this day were difficult, my son struggles in school, I feel him slipping farther and farther from me, no longer responding to my hugs. My kisses always work or they did until he turned thirteen. His diagnosis Attention Deficit Disorder. he hates going to the nurse’s office for his medication. Spiraling downward, counseling seems to not help. Setting limits is not helping. He says, “Mom, when you talk you use big words.”  Suddenly I notice how dark his room, a blanket covers the window. I talk with him and my worst fear, “Mom I do not want to live anymore.” Panic, fear, bargaining with God as I struggle with theses words. How did this happen? What am I to do? I am at the end of my rope, the only thing I can do is hang on. Beloved, is your teen struggle with Depression, Autism, ADD, or ADHD?

Graduating  from nursing school, unhappy in my marriage, a trial separation. In planning for this separation, I never thought my oldest son would stay with his dad. Praying through tears, “God, he is my son? What am I to do?” I am at the end of my rope, the only thing I can do is hang on. Beloved, are you struggling in your marriage? Perhaps you are in a blended family and there are struggles.

A car at the end of the drive way, a man slowly walks up the driveway, knocks at my door, serves me a subpoena. Your former boss is suing the head-hunter company that is responsible for hiring you for a company and now you must testify in a law suit. What am I to do? I am at the end of my rope, the only thing I can do is hang on. Beloved, do you have a boss that you will never gain approval? Why is this approval so important when we have God’s approval?

It is Monday, I am wearing my red business suit, wondering if this Monday will be like all the other Monday’s, I will hear those words, “May I see you in my office? What am I to do? I am at the end of my rope, the only thing I can do is hang on. Beloved, have you been harassed at work?

Almost daily, I suffer at some point with a headache, the pain is great yet I continue to act. Some days are worse than others, but I know that I just have to hang on because shortly the pain will be gone. Prayer is for cure, satisfied with whatever healing God gives me. Beloved, do you suffer with chronic pain?

Something is missing in the statement, “I am at the end of my rope.” What the statement should say, “When at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. So, how do you tie the knot in the rope? A person must turn to God, pray and trust Him.

As a parent, responsible for obtaining help for my child, during this time, I couldn’t think during but I knew I needed to pray and entrust him to God. Looking back I am not sure all of my actions were the right ones but praying and trusting God was tying a knot in the rope. I am thankful to say that I had hope during this time because God gave me my children and He entrusted them to me and my husband to love with an everlasting love. Although it took a while for my son to forgive me, the choices we made were the ones to save his life.

Because I am a Registered Nurse, I carry malpractice insurance. Although, I was not being sued personally, my ex-boss was suing the head-hunter that discovered me for the job. When I discovered I would be deposed, I asked for my own lawyer covered through my malpractice insurance. To this day, I do not know the results of that lawsuit. Oh, how I prayed he would not win but it doesn’t matter because I stopped wanting this man’s approval and I entrusted him to God’s care forgiving him for the pain he had caused me.

Shortly after this director began, it felt as if we were at odds. I do not usually have anyone disliking me so I tried to dismiss these feelings. The director started finding a reason to speak to me on Monday’s so I started dressing in power suits. I turned to God and I prayed. The telephone rang and asking me to interview for a Director of Nursing at another company. I had turned this interview down before but as I had prayed for a solution so I said yes. The following Monday, dressed in red, I tied a knot in the rope, asked for a few minutes of her time, and turned in my two-week notice.

Lastly, as difficult as nursing school, struggling in my marriage equally difficult. I worked my way through nursing school with the decision made to leave my husband. However, this was not God’s plan my marriage.  I trusted God with my life and prayerfully I reunited with my husband. I am never without hope. Hope is my word in 2016. This year will be 46 years of marriage.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Oh I have many other examples in my life but it is not time to write my memoirs. Prayer is so important and without my faith in God, where would I be?

But what do we do when we’ve done everything? We can tie a knot at the end of the rope and hang on through prayer and bible reading. Beloved, will you give God your struggles?