Why I Love/ Hate Scars

Linking up with #livefree Thursday

Each one of us faces spiritual warfare and fighting the real enemy that is unseen but is real nonetheless. How many scars do you have from the spiritual battles fought? Suzanne Ellers prompt this week is why I love my scars?

My scars are many. Starting with my childhood. Scars of insecurity and uncertainty. Being blind in my left eye from birth, causing serious depth perception and uncoördinated and in sports even worse in school led me to feel rejected. Beloved, do you suffer with feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and rejection?

God is a God of Hope. Romans 15:13

May the God hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Then in my high school years, more scars of rejections, feelings of inferiority, feelings of guilt, I ran ahead of God. My marriage I suffered many scars. Scars of what could have been, a different outcome. Scars of making the choice to stay. Beloved are you in a marriage that is suffering and you are developing some scars?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139: 14

My scars make me who I am. I am caring, kind, full of empathy, because of what I have lived through. I do not know if this is the life God planned for me or if I have the life I have because I ran ahead of God’s plan but I really can not complain. From the battle scars, the blessings are friendship and love for my husband of 45 years, two married sons  with five grandchildren and one step grandson. I am blessed.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Forgiveness healed my marriage. I worked my way through nursing school full of determination to leave him. We were married 25 years. The scars were deep, no Bio oil was going to heal the wound or the scar. I graduate, moved out,  separated but had no peace, you see this was not God’s plan . I ran ahead of God’s plan. We reconciled and then several years later I forgave him for everything I held against him. The forgiveness was the balm of Gilead to a deep scar. Now we’re married 45 years soon 46 years.

When my scars from my past weigh me down, I pray and then I remember this verse in Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.